The seed of an idea planted itself in my mind as I watched, of all things, an episode of Parks and Recreation.
The much-maligned Jerry, being his typical self, had just expressed a sentiment that made me first sad, then angry: “Weekends are for dreaming.” Sad, because I knew most people, myself included, followed this logic in our own lives; angry, because that’s not how it should have to be.
The idea of work-life balance, essentially, says work is one block of your time, and your real life is another. I first learned about it in college, with a kind of well, duh attitude: You don’t want your work to encroach on what really matters; just make sure you spend more time and effort on what does.
And then, as I graduated and began working, I learned it’s not so simple. Going to work every day, all day, week after week and month after month, means you’re spending the vast majority of your waking life at your job.
But I have great hours, you might say. I get off at 4:30 every day. I’m not complaining! Let’s do a little math; say your job is 35 hours a week (common at some universities and nonprofits). You arrive at 8:30 a.m., take an hour for lunch, and leave at 4:30 p.m. every day. And let’s say you get eight hours of sleep a night. That leaves you nine free hours during the day. How many of those nine hours do you spend commuting, doing necessary chores and getting ready for work or bed? The amount of free time you have during the day quickly dwindles with a regular job.
But the thing that really bothered me about work-life balance wasn’t its basic idea of managing your time; it was that it separates that time into absolutes, black and white: One is boring and soul-sucking and unfun; one is where you get to be yourself and do what you want. As I looked into the future, I couldn’t imagine my life for the next forty years, just spending all day waiting complacently for the evening, all week waiting for the weekend and all year waiting for a few days of vacation time. Shouldn’t life be more than just waiting around for something better?
The truth is, the idea of separating your life into two distinct categories – work and not-work – engenders a kind of split perception of what it really means to live. After working a regular job out of college for several years now, I’ve come to realize a few truths that have helped me regain perspective, focus on what matters and get rid of the nagging feeling that life should be more than an endless cycle of waiting.
Your days are entirely your own. How you choose to spend them is up to you. Work is a necessary part of life, but it is a *part* of it, just as building relationships, learning new skills and trying new things are also parts. You don’t have to think of your work life and personal life as two isolated opposites; try thinking of your life as a puzzle, with work just one of the pieces. And what you do for a living doesn’t have to be the be-all, end-all way of how your define yourself. It’s important to derive meaning from your work, but you should find meaning in the other aspects of your life, too.
It can be tempting to stay stuck in a job you aren’t passionate about or push off finding what you really want to do because of the idea that you can ‘do it later.’ You’ll look for a new job later, you say; for now, it’s good enough. But by putting off your happiness until later – working day in, day out at a job that truly doesn’t make use of your skills or align with your values – you’re staying stuck on the same endless treadmill of waiting. It takes courage to break free of the cycle, but it’s important that you do.
No job is going to be 100 percent perfect, 100 percent of the time. There will be challenges and aspects you don’t enjoy, even in a ‘dream job.’ And even in that dream job, you might still be putting in some long hours. The key is to ask yourself at the end of each day, did I enjoy what I did today? Was the work worth it for me? For some people, starting a business is the right step. For others, a desk job is A-OK, as long as they can do something that they truly enjoy. There is no right answer; it’s your job to start discovering what a long-term, sustainable career means to you. Think of it this way: You can make a short-term fix of bouncing to different jobs every few years, always looking for something else, or you can
As with most things, working toward a fulfilling life is easier said than done. Long hours and uncomfortable moments soul-searching, job hunting and, yes, working are going to be part of the journey. But in the end, you’ve only got one life; one finite, precious, beautiful life all your own. You owe it to yourself to live it well. commit to a career that makes use of your talents, skills, gifts and values.
bloom. 